“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you…”.
– Jeremiah 1:5a
When I was a kid, I used to be so fascinated about the sun. I was never able to comprehend how the sun seemed to follow me every single time (same way I didn’t understand how my sister was older than me given that I was born in March and she in April😹). I remember being in my dad’s car on our way to church, looking out through the window and seeing the sun moving as fast as the car. Whenever the car stopped, the sun stopped too. And when it moved again, so did the sun. What was even more fascinating was that it was same for every single human being. So while I was in Lagos, in my dad’s car, watching as the sun “followed” me, you could have been in Edo state or in the Bahamas, or in Queens, or even in a small town in the middle of East Africa, watching the sun chase after you too. All at the same time.
Sometimes, I’d try to trick the sun. I’d start running towards a particular direction, watching as the sun followed me, and then I’d swiftly switch to a different direction. And I’d see that the sun had switched with me. I enjoyed watching the sun follow me. It was fascinating, the fact that the sun could do what MTN network couldn’t; it could follow me “everywhere I go”. I marveled more at the fact that it also had the ability to follow me and 10 billion others at the same time.
A while ago, Holy Spirit reminded me of this fascination of mine from my childhood. He used it to explain how peculiar I am to God, how peculiar you are to God. God doesn’t just love us as one big body of Christ. His love isn’t one big pie that we all have to share and take a piece from. His love is special and personal to me, as it is to you too. Holy Spirit made me see that God doesn’t just know me as “one of His children”. He knows me by my name, He knows me as PRAISELYN (here’s where you insert your name lol). It’s great that I have a personal relationship with Him. But it’s even more fascinating that He has a personal relationship with me. And even though He loves everyone of us, He loves me (and you) differently, in a personal way.
I can trust that He knows what is good for me, not just because He is God and He is all knowing, but because He knows me personally. The 12 disciples were all disciples of Jesus, and while Jesus related with them collectively and together, He also knew each of them personally, differently, at the same time. He could cater to their different desires because He knew them. In biblical parlance, to “know” means to have sexual intimacy with a person. So when the Bible said “Adam knew His wife Eve”, it was saying Adam had sexual intercourse with his wife. In the same vein, God’s knowledge of you is as deep and personal and sacred as sexual intimacy between a man and his wife. Husbands can only experience that kind of intimacy with their wives. That’s how it is with us and God. He doesn’t just have general or head knowledge of you. He KNOWS you, deeply, intimately, separately.
This understanding brought me to a deeper place in my relationship with God. That anytime I come to Him, anytime I approach Him, He wasn’t just seeing “one of His many children”. He was seeing Ahaiwe Praiselyn Chidinma (and my other name that I won’t share😹). That in Gethsemane, when He felt like giving up the journey to the cross, He thought specifically of me and said “nevertheless Father, not my will but yours be done”. That I am not just one of the millions of lives He came to save and have a relationship with. I am known by my name, by the numbers of hair on my head, by the sound of my voice and the tingle in my laughter. Just as you are too. He knows you personally. And if that isn’t the most incredulous thing ever, I don’t know what is.
Just incase you’ve been feeling unseen, this is to remind you that you’re no outcast. You’re not “one of many”. You’re the 1 that He would leave the 99 for. You’re His reason. Yes, you. Remember this when next your feelings try to tell you something else. Remember that you’re the daughter or son of a King. Now, straighten your crown, cross your legs if you please, set your back straight, and walk in this reality. Until later, God bless!